Happy Halloween

Dear Owen,

Happy Halloween! Today was your first holiday. Ever. You looked so cute in your little pumpkin hat even though it was way too big. This year we visited your Daddy at work and you didn't stay awake long enough to greet any trick-or-treaters. Here a peep at you in your first costume:

I love you, Mom

Happy Anniversary

Dear Owen,
Two years ago your Mommy and Daddy were doing this:

Now look at us:

I am so proud of the beautiful family that your Daddy and I have created. My life is so different than it was two years ago and I wouldn't have it any other way. I knew that marrying your Daddy would change me. What I didn't know was how it would change my heart. Our marriage has made me stronger, love more, and feel deeper. Each day, I thank the Lord that he is standing, sleeping, or sitting beside me. As I watch him become a father to you, it makes me so proud to call him my husband. When you are all grown up, I hope that you will find someone who makes your life complete. Just as I have with your Daddy.
I love you son,
Mom

Past Two Weeks

Dear Owen,
Today you are two weeks old. You celebrated by staying awake from 8:30 AM to 11 AM this morning. I guess you think since you are two weeks old can do anything you want now! (Including trying to pick your head up and look around) The past two weeks have flown by and I think it's only an indication of how quickly you are going to grow up. I am constantly amazed at how rapidly you are changing and how our family dynamic is changing daily. Each day I have more confidence as your mother and it is slowly getting easier to get into our routine. I am sorry the first couple weeks recap will be limited. I think about blogging at all hours, but don't have the energy to translate those thoughts to letters. I know that I will get back to blogging more frequently as time permits. Here is what I remember about the past two weeks. After you were born, we stayed in the hospital until Monday afternoon. During that time, we started to get to know each other and were interrupted. A lot. Mostly by doctors and nurses doing their jobs. It seemed like each time your Daddy and I got to hold you someone else needed you. You had a circumcision, pediatric visits, I had checkups with nurses or doctors, nursery time, or grandparents holding you. Your Daddy and kept you with us every night except for the last when we finally broke down and sent you to the nursery. It's true what they say about the lack of sleep. It will get to you. Plus I was still feeling pretty sore from the operation and having to sleep in the hospital bed. It was really uncomfortable and I was anxious to get home. In fact, I was pretty anxious about everything. It's funny how over the moon you can be about having a child and at the same time have intense "overwhelming" feelings. Nobody really ever filled me on that part. Thank goodness for your Daddy and Grandma. Every time I had a moment, they were right there to support me. I literally don't know how I could have survived the first weeks without them. We got home on Monday and made it through our first night. We went to the pediatrician on Tuesday morning and your weight was down to 5lbs 14oz. Unfortunately, my milk wasn't coming in and we had to start supplementing with formula. At this point, both of us were getting pretty frustrated with breastfeeding. My dear friend, Emily, gave us the gift of seeing a lactation consultant named Linda. We meet with her on Thursday and she gave me tons of helpful advice which included starting me on a herbal supplement. I continued to pump up to 10 times a day in hopes of stimulating my milk production. I promised myself that I wouldn't give up on the idea of breastfeeding for at least two weeks. By Wednesday of this week, I still wasn't making any milk and had to face reality. It was a extremely difficult decision to stop pumping and switch to straight formula. But feedings were getting to a point where both of us were extremely anxious and it was taking so long. By the time I finished, we had to start right back over again and it wasn't healthy for either of us. Of course, we were still giving you formula so you have gained weight and were not going hungry. Here a shot of a happier moment:

On Saturday you had your first bath:

It was a sponge bath. You weren't too happy with the process but hopefully you will get used to it and learn to love it. On Sunday, we went on our first stroller ride. It took 30 minutes of prep time to walk 6 houses. But it was well worth the effort to get outside into the fresh air and sunshine. Your Grandma Lumsden left for home on Tuesday. It was a very sad day. We were all upset and miss her terribly. Hopefully she can come back soon. Really soon. Like tomorrow would be nice.

Your Daddy has stayed home with me the rest of this week. He goes back to work on Monday and we will be on our own for real. The good news is that I am able to drive and we have been on a couple outings, so I think I might be able to handle things. I am sure that it will get easier day by day. I hear you stirring in the next room, so it's off to make a bottle for me!
Love,
Mommy

Birth Story

Dear Owen,

It feels strange to start your letters Dear Owen, instead of Dear Munchkin. We have spent so long wondering whether or not you were a boy or girl, what you were going to look like, and how your personality would develop. Now you are here with us and it is truly amazing. I promised that I would write a letter devoted to your birth story. It might be a little long winded and most everyone we know has already heard it, but I want to preserve it for you. Every year on my birthday, your Grandma relives the story of my birth and I want to pass on the same tradition to you. Here goes:

We started off Thursday morning with an early call from the hospital. They told us to come on over to get started. All the grandparents had arrived or were scheduled to be here that day. We checked in about 7:30 AM and didn't get a room until close to 9 AM. By then, we were all anxious and nervous. I had two labor and delivery nurses that day, Lisa and Sara. They were both as nice as could be and made the process a lot less scary. They started me on the pitocin drip and an IV antibiotic. I didn't do so well with the IV process, but we can skip that part of the story. At this point, I was already having some mild contractions and the medicine didn't really ramp it up. After lunch, Doctor Davis stopped by and decided to start me on the higher dosage of medicine to help things progress. He also checked to see if he could break my water, but your head wasn't down far enough for him to feel comfortable doing that. We would learn the next day that a fibroid tumor was actually blocking the birth canal and this was the reason your head never came down far enough to eventually be born. About 3 PM that afternoon Dr. Fogelman (the on-call doctor) stopped in to check on us. She checked again to see if my water could be broken and then suggested that she put in a Foley balloon to open up the cervix. Basically, it's a balloon is inserted and then inflated with water to help dilate the cervix to about 3 cm. Once inserted, you leave it in until it falls out or is removed. I had that procedure done and it was a little scary. I sort of lost it for a moment and when I came to, I had oxygen and all sorts of nurses hovering around. After a few minutes, I was back to normal and we continued to wait. Around 8 PM, Dr. Fogelman came back to check on us. At this point, the medicine really wasn't changing much. In fact, your system can become saturated with it and become overloaded. Her suggestion was to take me off the drip for the night allowing me to eat something, walk around, and try to sleep. In the meantime, she would put another medicine inside me called Cervadil which gets absorbed into the blood stream. It is supposed to encourage dilation as well. I was able to eat half a sandwich, walk around the halls a few laps, the nurse inserted the medicine, and then I was given a sleeping pill. Everyone went home except your Daddy. He slept beside me the entire time. I think I slept for a couple hours. Close to 1 AM, I woke up having contractions which were getting stronger. I knew something wasn't right about 3 AM when the nurses were coming in every ten minutes or so to have me change sides or positions. Your heart rate was dropping every time I had a contraction. The nurse finally was concerned enough to call Dr. Fogelman into my room at 5:30 AM. We woke up your Dad and I was examined again. The contractions were coming pretty regularly now but were still a few minutes apart. Dr. Fogelman told us that we have a couple different options at this point. I could go back on the drip to see what happened, we could go ahead with a C-section, or we could stop the process all together which would essentially send us home to wait. She gave your Dad and I a few moments to talk things out. At which point, we called all the Grandparents and told them to get to the hospital ASAP. When Dr. Fogelman came back into the room to finish discussing our options, my water broke. Just right there while I was laying in the bed. It was a totally bizarre thing and I was like "Oh, something just happened!" Right away, Dr. Fogelman said that we would know in about 15 minutes if we were having a C-Section. Your heart rate kept dipping down with each contraction, so we were on our way to the OR. It happened in a matter of minutes, there were so many doctors and nurses flying around. I hardly had time to process it. But once they decided you had to come out, there was no messing around. All the grandparents arrived in time and I was able to kiss them before the surgery. Your Daddy got all suited up for the operation. They took me in the operating room and I was scared. Not really for me, but just worried about you. Everyone took excellent care of us. All the doctors and nurses were especially nice and supportive. Doctor Davis was also there to help deliver you. I went into the operating room at 7:30 AM and you were born at 7:48 AM. You weighed 6 lbs 13 oz and were 20 inches long. Doctor Davis told me that you didn't have a lot of hair before we even knew if you were a boy or a girl. Doctor Davis pulled you out and yelled "It's a boy" and he held you up for us to look at. Then you and your Daddy were whisked away. Of course, I started crying and all the nurses were so nice to me. Once you were cleaned up, you and your Daddy came back into see me. It was then that they told us that the cord was wrapped around your neck 3 times and that I had a fibroid tumor blocking the birth canal. It was a completely overwhelming emotional experience. All of the anticipation, anxiety, and excitement coming together. After I was put back together, I went down to recovery. You were able to meet all your family who were waiting at the hospital. Your Daddy brought you into recovery for a while where I finally held you. My sweet boy. Our Son. You were finally here. How beautiful you looked and how instantly I feel in love. We spent the next four days in the hospital together where I started to recover and we started our relationship. Those days and the past two weeks will be chronicled in a future letter. Right now, I hear your stirring which probably means that you need to be changed and feed. I know that now since I am your Mom and all. See, I am getting the hang of things already, right?

I love you son,

Mommy

1 Week Old

Happy

Unhappy

Love, Mom

Home Sweet Home

Dear Owen,
We have a son! Your Daddy and I could not be more proud. I am sorry to say that this letter will be brief, as I just have a moment to write you in between feedings and everything Owen going on in our house. But I promise to update you with your birth story when your Daddy and I get into a little more of a routine and I can spare a few minutes to get in all the details. Your arrival into this world was quite an event on Friday morning and you are surrounded by so many people who love you. I never imagined that I could have such intense feelings of love for another person. You are our world and we welcome you to it.
I love you very much son,
Mommy

Owen James Beale

Owen James Beale arrived this morning at 7:48AM, weighing 6 lbs. 13 oz., 20 inches long. Owen is healthy. He and Mommy are doing wonderfully. All of his tests have been passed with flying colors. Lots of pictures are posted at http://www.rosswilkin.com/ and there will be more to come. They are also on our own photo site http://jasonbeale.phanfare.com/.
Love,
Daddy

Another Update

Well, nothing has really changed so far. It looks like we'll probably be waiting until tomorrow to meet you! In the meantime, go to http://www.rosswilkin.com for some photos from the day.
Love, Daddy

Quick Update

Hey Munchkin,
We're here at Women's Hospital. They started the Pitocin drip at 9:30 this morning and hopefully the contractions will start soon. The nurses are very nice and everyone is anxiously awaiting your arrival. See you soon.
Daddy

Green Light

Dear Baby-
I have been trying to write this letter all day. In case you can't tell by the title of the letter, your lungs are mature and we received the green light from Doctor Davis to go ahead with the induction on Thursday morning! I called Maternal Fetal Care @ 8 AM when they opened to see if they had any news for us. The receptionist told me that something had come across the fax late yesterday, but the Doctor wouldn't be in until around 9 AM to read it. I left my number and thought about going back to sleep. About 2 minutes later, Doctor Davis called me. He told me that the lungs are mature and we can ahead with the induction. I said, "How weird, I just called and Doctor Conners wasn't in." "Oh, I know I am at the hospital and decided to break into Doctor Conners office to get the results myself." How resourceful is he! Anyway, he asked me if preferred tomorrow or Thursday to come into the hospital. Of course, I chose Thursday to give my family any extra time to get here. After a fury of phone calls and a shortage of hotel rooms (thank to A&T Homecoming), everyone has been notified and travel arrangements made. By the time I processed everything and ate some lunch, it was time to go to work. Then our internet/email was down at work, so this is first chance I have had to update. It looks like we will finally meet you sometime on Thursday or Friday. It feels very surreal and almost like I am having an out of body experience. I am going to go into work tomorrow for a few hours and then spend the rest of the day getting any last minute details worked out for Thursday.
See you soon!
Love,
Mom

No Real News

Dear Baby-
I just spoke with a nurse from Doctor Davis's office. She informed me that they have the results from one half of the test, but not the other. So the plan is to wait until morning and see what the second half tells us. Stupid second half. Stupid waiting.
Love,
Mom

Amniocentesis

Dear Munchkin,
We are back at home after a successful amnio test this morning. We arrived at the specialist and I was promptly put on a monitor. This time, I needed to be monitored before and afterwards. Then we went into the ultrasound room and I was just a bundle of nerves. Everything went perfectly smooth during the procedure, which was mildly uncomfortable, but not painful. I didn't even know that she was going to start until the needle was already inside my tummy. Of course, I kept my eyes closed the whole time. She drew three vials of fluid for the lab. Dr. Conners mention that the fluid was cloudy which generally indicates that the lungs are mature. I hope the lab confirms that diagnosis. So now, I wait this afternoon (at home, no work today) until 5 PM. Once Doctor Davis calls me, we should know what the next step is. My prayer that you are here sooner than later! I will write as soon as I have any more information. I love you,
Mom

Anxious

Dear Munchkin,
The repeat amnio test is scheduled for 9 AM tomorrow. I am nervous, excited, anxious, and hopeful for good results. It has been tough to be patient this weekend and we might certainly be waiting a while longer to meet you. Wish us luck tomorrow and say a few prayers that we will be holding you soon.
Love,
Mom

Thwarted *Updated*

*Repeat Amnio test scheduled for Monday morning 9 AM*
Dear Munchkin,
We are already home from the hospital and it's only 8:15 AM. That's because they couldn't do the amnio test this morning. We arrived at the hospital @ 7:15 AM all prepared for the big event. The ultrasound technician took some measurements (BTW- your new estimated weight is 7.5 lbs) but could not find a pocket of amniotic fluid big enough for the needle. I have plenty of fluid, just not in a big enough space away from you, the placenta, or the cord. Doctor Davis decided that it wasn't worth the risk to have the procedure done right at this moment. What he recommended is that we be referred to Maternal Fetal Care in the hospital and they will try to repeat the test either this afternoon or Monday. Now, I wait for their office to open and my Doctor's office will schedule an appointment. It's just such a let down. I considered the fact that you might not be ready, but I never thought that we wouldn't have the chance to find out. And so the waiting game continues......
I love you,
Mom

Doctor Appointment

Dear Munchkin,
Yesterday your Daddy and I went to see the doctor. Hopefully it will be my last office visit, but I am trying not to get ahead of myself. I have been experiencing some pelvic pressure in the past few days, so I was anxious to be examined. I wanted to know if there was anything "going on" with you. Of course, I had an NST test and everything looked good. It took a little longer than normal since you are running out of room to twirl around in. I saw the mid-wife, Tanya, who is super awesome. I really like her a lot and she made me feel totally comfortable. I have been feeling a little crazy these days and she seemed to really understand where I was coming from. It turns out that I am dilated 1 cm which means that the labor process is beginning. It doesn't mean much, since you can walk around slightly dilated for a long time, but at least my body is starting to get some signals that the time is near. I am also having random contractions throughout day which are starting to be a little painful. They don't have a real pattern or intensity yet, so I am not too concerned. I believe that I will make it through until Monday without any problem. Tanya explained what might happen next week in great detail. As of right now, I am feeling very positive and optimistic that you will be making your debut sometime early next week. She also explained that the induction process can take a while, so we should be aware that will be a long day on Monday. I can't believe it's already Wednesday and I still have so much to do. Tomorrow marks 36 weeks and you will be considered a full term baby. Wow. Your Daddy and I are so excited to meet you, we are nearly beside ourselves. Speaking of you, I need to run off to pack the hospital bag so I can cross another thing off my baby-might-coming-soon list!
I love you,
Mom

Thoughts

Dear Baby,
Sorry I haven't written in a couple days. It's not that I haven't been thinking about it, it's just that I am trying to stay off my feet while getting as many things prepared for your arrival as possible. And that can be challenging at times. These past few days (or weeks) have been filled with a lot of anxiety and excitement. I am really hoping that we meet you next week and that everything goes well on Friday. All my Doctor's visits last week were great and everything seems to be on schedule. I have an appointment with Doctor Davis on Tuesday and then Friday is the big day. I have been driving your Daddy nuts with my lists, to-do tasks, and tears in the last few weeks. I think I have just reach the point where the end (or beginning) is near and I can't believe it. It seems like everything is coming to a head. Working half days have been a blessing, but I am still finding myself "busy". I want everything to be perfect for your homecoming. So now I wait patiently for this upcoming week to be over and find out if we are ready to finally meet you. My precious child.
I love you so much,
Mom

Random Report

Dear Baby-
Here's a look at a few pictures from my work baby shower last Friday morning. It's hard to tell from these pictures, but there were about 30 people there, lots of food, and tons of gifts:

On Saturday afternoon, I had a prenatal massage that your Dad had arranged for me. It was awesome! I was a bit nervous about the whole thing since I am not exactly feeling like myself these days and I wasn't sure what to expect. Heather made me feel totally comfortable and the whole massage was modified to fit my needs. She wasn't a "touchy-feely" massage-person (If that makes sense?), she worked on pressure points and kneaded the muscles in my back/hips. It totally lowered my blood pressure and felt wonderful afterwards. I am really grateful to your Daddy, since it helped release some of the anxiety of the past few weeks. On Monday afternoon, I went in for another NST and meeting with Doctor Davis. You passed the NST, but Doctor Davis is concerned about my swelling. He has decided to put me on 1/2 days at work until you are born. This way, I can work for 4 hours and still be able to rest/put my feet up. It does feel like a relief, but at the same time, my plan was to continue working until you arrived. I will be working from 1-5 in the afternoons. I am sure my boss wasn't too happy, but I need to take of you and myself. On Monday Evening, I attended the second breastfeeding class. We learned about pumping, breast milk storage, and some other guidelines. I am pretty sure that the class has actually made me more nervous about doing this. I am just going to try my best and get help when I need it. All in all, it made me very sad to be planning for returning to work so soon after you arrive.

Love, Mom

Nursery Pictures

Dear Munchkin,
We have finally finished the nursery. Everything is all set for your arrival. The only thing missing is you! Of course, I am sure I will be in here every day "fixing" things and adding finishing touches. But for the most part, this is how your room is going to look:

I hope you like it as much as we do.

Love, Mom

Past Two Days

Dear Munchkin,
There has been a lot to write about these past few days! Yesterday your Daddy and I had a doctor appointment and then went to our final birth and baby class. We missed our fifth class a few weeks ago and luckily our teacher let us sit in on another one she was teaching. I am really glad we were able to attend since the topic was newborn care. Then this morning, my work place, threw me a surprise baby shower!
Doctor's Visit- You passed your NST with flying colors. I always worry a bit about passing when we go in, because some doctors are really strict about them. I understand the concern, but the last thing I want to do is fail the test and then be sent over to the hospital for a check up. It's expensive and time consuming. Your Daddy and I meet with Doctor D afterwards for a brief chat. After our last conversation about the induction, we had lots of questions. At the time, we were feeling overwhelmed with the possibility of your early arrival, so this was a good time to talk about our future plans. Basically, if your lungs are mature on the 3rd, then I would go to the hospital Sunday evening (the 5th) and start on some medication to induce labor. You probably be born the next day on the 6th. There are different methods of induction, so the medication used would also depend on what my cervix is doing "on it's own". If your lungs are not mature, then we adopt a wait and see philosophy along with scheduling C-Section at 39 weeks. If your lungs are borderline, we also follow that same plan. Doctor Davis's hope (and ours) is that I would go into labor naturally before 39 weeks to avoid the C-section. Since overall things are looking good, Doctor Davis is pretty confident that you will be here in a few weeks. At the very most, I will be pregnant for about 5 more weeks and maybe have only 2 weeks left.
Birth & Baby Class- Our last birth & baby class was about newborn care. We covered a lot of basic subjects such as diapering, bathing, burping, swaddling, and crying. We watched a long video about your typical day and night day. Each couple had a "baby" to practice on. Your Dad and I did a pretty good job. Most of the information was common sense. Of course, a lot of our solutions, we will be making up as we go along. Lucky for you, the firstborn are the experiment!
Work Shower- This morning, Carlton Scale threw a baby shower for me. They told me that we had a safety meeting in the conference room and when I arrived, it was all decked out. Everyone was there (including the service techs) and it was so adorable. There was a huge breakfast spread, cute decorations, and tons of gifts. It was pretty funny, because after the food was gone, so were the men! The girls in the office went crazy with the gifts. You got a Baby Einstein jumper, clothes, blankets, bottles, shampoo, sheets, and all kinds of toys. It was truly overwhelming to see how much my co-workers care about our family. One of my co-workers took some pictures, so I should be able to post some next week when she sends them to me. We have been so blessed with three showers and now your nursery is really full.
This weekend I am going to have my prenatal massage and plan to finish up the nursery. I need to put away all the new gifts and tweak it up just a little. Then I will post some pictures for all to enjoy.
I love you,
Mom

Weekend Update

Dear Munchkin,
What a whirlwind weekend! It was very exciting, fun, overwhelming, emotional, exhausting, busy, and joyful. The weekend got started on Thursday night when we picked up Grandma Lumsden and Aunt Diane from the airport. They arrived about 8 and we finally settled into bed about 11:30. Your Daddy and I had to work on Friday morning, so the twins cruised Greensboro until it was time for the first event. Then the girls picked me up at work and we were off to start our weekend!
Moses Cone Baby Shower-Your Daddy's co-workers got together and threw us quite a party. It was so fun and everything looked totally adorable. I certainly wasn't expecting such a big deal! Here are some pictures from the afternoon:
Daddy, Mommy, Grandma, and Aunt Diane

Guess the baby food game. I totally lost. Wet Wipes. Anyone who knows me can appreciate my face in this picture.
Delicious Cake
Tons of Baby Gifts

Daddy Boot Camp- On Saturday morning your Daddy enlisted in Daddy Boot Camp. It's a class offered at the hospital for guys taught by guys. It's all about learning the tricks of the trade from a man's perspective. They also have real live infants in the class. Once you are old enough, your Daddy might be asked to volunteer his services to other new parents. I have pressed your Daddy for details from camp, but he has just said it was lots of fun and very informative. Oh, how I would like to have been a fly on the wall that morning!
Baby Shower- Four of my best friends got together and planned an awesome baby shower for our family. It was hosted by Missy, Ann Marvin, MaryScot, and Stewart. It was so sweet and they thought of every little detail. They made sure to have tons of yummy food that I could eat every single bite of. Even a special desert served to us! It was such a great mix of family, college friends, work friends, and church friends. Events like this always make me think about how grateful I am to have so many women in my life whom I cherish. These friendship are so special and have truly made me the person I am today. Once everyone had their fill of yummy food, we played the first game. MaryScot (ever-the-teacher) had us guess the baby animal. For example, a dog would have a puppy. If only they were that easy! Then after the game, I opened gifts. There are so many presents. Eloise and EmmaScot (Ann Marvin's girls) helped play Santa and brought me all the gifts. I can't even begin to name off all the fun stuff we received. Your nursery is totally stocked now. After the presents, we played a game called dirty diaper. Each diaper had a candy bar melted in it and we had to figure it out which one was which. I did fair better at this game, but it was still hard. Then things started winding down. I stayed behind to catch up with friends who had traveled to see me. All in all, it was just a fantastic afternoon. Check out some of the gifts below:
Wreath of Diapers Mrs. Jolly, Amy, and Amber
Piggy Bank from Dad & Debra
Homemade Blanket from Grandma (Which of course made me bawl!)
Framed Picture for your Nursery
Sunday-On Sunday, we attacked your nursery. It's not totally complete, but it is almost done. There are just a few finishing touches I need to add. I am going to post some pictures of the finished product this week or weekend. I have to say, it looks so fabulous. I could just stand in there for hours and I can't wait to see you sleeping in the crib!
NST Monday- Monday morning, you passed the NST with no problem. I saw a different doctor and everything was fine. My legs and feet have become quite swollen in the past few days, but since my BP and weight gain are on track, it shouldn't be an issue. I see Doctor Davis on Thursday and I am going to ask him about the backup plan if your lungs are not mature. There are so many details running through my head right now, it's not even funny!
I love you very much, Mom