Merry Christmas

Dear Owen,
We had a wonderful Christmas. On Christmas Eve, I was able to come home early from work and spend the afternoon with you. I miss our afternoons together more than you can imagine. Then your Daddy and I had an early dinner so we could go to the evening service at church. It was really crowded and luckily you were asleep for most of the time. I have to admit that during the service, my thoughts often drifted to my family that was celebrating far away. It's always difficult for me to be away from my loved ones during the holidays. I hope that you and I are never apart for special days. After church, we put you to bed and stood over your crib for a while thinking about how lucky we are to finally have you in our lives. God has truly blessed us.
On Christmas morning, your Daddy and I woke up (well, you woke us up!) and then opened our presents. Your Grandparents in Illinois sent tons of gifts for you and we had lots of fun opening them all. You had the most presents under the tree!
Watching us open presents:
Then we headed off to your Grandma and Grandpa Beale's house for a late Christmas breakfast. Your Daddy's family has a tradition of eating oysters wrapped in bacon on Christmas morning and it's yummy! In the afternoon we all went over to your Uncle Geoff & Aunt Lisa's house to have dinner and open all the Beale Family gifts. It was absolutely insane, there were so many presents!
Your cousins Jacob and Joshua:
Elmo:

It was a long day of family fun and we are looking forward to next Christmas when you will be a toddler!

Love, Mom

Heart Swell

Dearest Owen,
As usual, I went in your room this morning to check on you before I got in the shower. I knew you were awake because I had been listening to you making some noise for a while before dragging myself out of bed. As I leaned over your crib, you greeted me with a gigantic grin and starting wiggling around in excitement. It literally took my breath away. Your smile makes my heart swell and all of my worries melt away. My whole world is brighter now and I can't imagine life before your smile. I love you so much.
Mom

2 Month Checkup

Dear Owen,
On Wednesday you had your two month checkup with Doctor Davis. I can't believe you are nine weeks old today! Everything went extremely well during the checkup and you are growing like a weed. Your weight is up to 10lbs 11.5oz, your height is 21.5 inches, and your head measures 39.5 cm. I forget what percentiles you are in, but I remember that they were all good. However, the entire visit was not all pleasant. You had your first set of shots. You drank the oral vaccine down like a champ and only cried for a short while after your shots. Your Daddy held you the entire time because I couldn't look. I didn't cry, but I couldn't watch them stick you. I know it's cheesy, but I think it hurt us more than it hurt you. Hopefully we won't have to see Doctor Davis again until you are four months old.
You have developed quite a few new skills in the last four weeks. The best one is your smile. We just started seeing it a few days ago and now you are smiling all the time. I hope that's an indication of how happy you are. You can see us pretty clearly now and track our movements when we aren't right in front of you. Your hands and feet are becoming increasingly interesting to you. You are also finding out how your voice works through grunts and groans. Yesterday, I came home from work and you were wearing one of your three month old outfits! I guess it's time to rearrange your drawers and put away some newborn clothes. I am glad you are getting bigger, but it's still sad to pack up those tiny outfits. I was just telling your Daddy that you already look like a different baby then the one that came home from the hospital. A lot has changed this past month and we are looking forward to seeing what month three holds in store for us.
I love you son,
Mommy

Traveling, Baby Jesus, First Smile, and Sleeping through the Night

Dear Owen,
I am so sorry it's been a long time since I have written you a letter. Once you read this one, you will see how busy we've been and how the last part of my maternity leave has flown by. A couple days after my last entry, we flew to Chicago to see all your Grandparents. I was a little nervous about flying since you were only six weeks old, but I decided to go for it. We even had to change planes in Charlotte! I am proud to say that you slept like a champ through every leg of the trip and were admired by many different folks along the way. It wasn't easy to get through the airport with all your gear, but it wasn't as hard as I imagined either. Lots of people told me to to feed you during takeoff and landings. But you were so sound asleep so I didn't bother and you were fine. You were held by a TSA worker, a baggage handler, and a stewardess during our airport adventure. It was really cold in Chicago and we were meet by Grandma Lumsden who picked up this snowsuit:

You looked like the kid in A Christmas Story. It was hil-lar-i-ous. But you were mighty warm and didn't feel the cold at all. Another shot of the snowsuit followed by some other pictures from the trip:

After hanging out with the Grandparents in Chicago for a few days, we came home to head for the mountains to spend Thanksgiving with your Great Grandma. Your Grandpa Wilkin came down for the holiday and we had a great time visiting. Since we had been gone the previous week, we were all anxious to get home and settled back into our routine. Here are some snapshots from your first Thanksgiving dinner:

On Wednesday, you played Baby Jesus in our church's Christmas pageant. We were so proud of your acting debut. You didn't cry or fuss the entire time. The pageant was so much fun for all the kids and parents alike. I even shed a tear during one of the hymns. Mary and Baby Jesus:

Friday was a big day in the Beale household. You smiled at us for the first time and slept through the night! Well, technically you slept from 11 PM-5 AM. Hopefully we can push you back a little bit and you can start sleeping from midnight to 6 AM. That would make my transition back to work oh-so-much-smoother. Let's work on that, shall we?
I love you very much son,
Mom

Rock The Cradle

Dear Owen,

Last night you slept for a total of 9 hours. Granted it was a five hour stretch and a four hour stretch, but we'll take it . You rock. Let's have a repeat performance tonight OK?

Love, Mom

Baby & Me Class

Dear Owen,
Every Thursday you and I have been going to a class together called Baby & Me. It's a chance to connect with other Moms and babies so we can get to know each other. Each class, they have a different speaker or activity planned. Sometimes I am able to pay attention to the speaker, other times you have other plans for me. I really like the class because it gives me a chance to learn things from other moms and do something fun with you. Everything "baby" is acceptable so it's OK for me to feed you, change you, or when you cry. Everyone gets it! They also understand the questions I have and can give me good advice. This week, my friend Heather joined us. She had a baby boy a couple weeks before you arrived. It was so great to meet Daxton! Hopefully you two will be fast friends. I took my camera to class this week:

Obviously you are camera shy, right?

I love you,

Mom

One Month

Dear Owen,
Guess who weighs 8 lbs 12 oz? Owen Beale, that's who! You were weighed at your one month checkup today. That's almost a whole two pounds more than your birth weight. Woo-hoo! You are getting to be such a big boy. Seriously, I can't believe a whole month has gone by since we welcomed you into our family. This past month has been a whirlwind of change. Each day gets easier and we've come along way since we came home from the hospital. When I think back on your first two weeks it's hard to imagine how overwhelming it was and how much better I feel about our relationship today. It's very hard to become a Mama and a Daddy for the first time. Lucky for me, I have lots of family and great friends who have helped me through this past month. Here are your stats from today's checkup: Weight 8 pounds 12 ounces, Length 20 1/4 inches, and head circumference 37 1/2 centimeters. You have really porked out but not up. Doctor Davis doesn't seem too concerned you haven't really gotten much taller. Right now, we will just keep an eye on your height. Everything else at your checkup was great and we go back next month for your two month checkup. You already had your first case of diaper rash, so we went ahead and switched over to the cloth diapers. We were just waiting for you to get big enough to fit into them. They are awesome and your rash cleared up really fast. Not to mention that we haven't had to buy diapers! Your bum looked so cute on the doctor's table, I could just eat you up. Your latest trick is picking your head up and staying awake for longer periods of time. You are very curious about the world and everything it has to offer. We are also getting out and about more often. You have been to church, Target, Daddy's work, your cousin's football game, and Baby & Me classes. Next week we will travel to Chicago together to spend a few days with Grandma. She is so excited to see how much you have grown. I can't wait to spend our second month together and watch you grow.
I love you,
Mom

A Day In The Life

If you have a baby AND hold down a job or have other kids, you're my hero. If you have a baby AND hold down a job AND have other kids, there are just no words to describe my amazement.
I have one baby and my only job (right now) is to be a full-time-mom. And I can't believe how fast the day goes and how little I get done. Seriously. Sometimes I look at the clock and it's 7:45 AM and then 5 minutes later I'll look again and it's 4:30 PM. And I can't name a single thing that I have accomplished in that time. But there are women, millions of women out there, who have jobs and multiple kids and still find time to check email, have a hobby, and exercise on a daily basis.
What am I doing wrong?
In an attempt to answer that question, I am outlying a typical day in my life with my 4 week old baby Owen. Please note that the following does NOT take into account if we have to leave the house for any reason (doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc.) Or if Owen's having one his hungry or cranky days that require even more of my attention than usual. That's a whole other level of craziness.
So here we go:
7:00 AM- Owen wakes up, change diaper, feed
7:30 AM- Playtime
8:45 AM- Diaper change, feed
9:00 AM- I *try* to get Owen down for a down for a nap, doesn't always happen. If he does nap, I try to shower, I do laundry, empty dishwasher, wash bottles, try to get some breakfast/caffeine.
10:30 AM- Change diaper, feed, playtime
11:30 AM- Laundry, change diaper
12:00 PM- Playtime, try to grab some lunch if Owen isn't being too demanding
1:00 PM- Change diaper, feed
1:30 PM- Owen down for nap, if successful check email, blog, laundry.
3:30 PM- Change diaper, feed, playtime
4:00 PM- Nap Time
6:00 PM- Diaper Change, Feed, Mommy plays with Owen while Daddy makes dinner. He usually nods off shortly after.
6:30 PM- Parents eat dinner and watch some TV.
8:00 PM- Possible Bath time
9:00 PM- Diaper change, feed, Owen down for night. Bedtime for parents.
12:00 AM- Diaper change, feed, Owen back to bed.
3:00 AM- Diaper change, feed, Owen back to bed.
7:00 AM- We start all over again!
So what am I doing wrong? Where does the time go? Is it me? Am I missing something? I really want YOUR opinion. Please comment if you have any ideas. I feel like I am insanely busy all day. But busy doing what? I know it seems like I do a lot of feeding and I do. But I let Owen eat on demand. I don't know how else to do it. I don't want him to be hungry. I do want him to feel like he can eat anytime he feels the need. Is that wrong? Is anyone else experiencing this black hole of time suckage? I feel like I have to formally schedule cutting my fingernails and drinking a glass of water. And going to the bathroom.
Love,
Mom

Rock The Vote

Dear Owen,
Today you and I voted for a new President of the United States. Today our country makes history. It will be the first time that either a black man or a woman gets elected to the oval office. This morning I was thinking about the first time you will be able to vote for president. It will be 2028 and you will be twenty years old. What will our government or White House look like in twenty years? How will things have changed? Will you be a part of that change? Change has been a key word in this year's election. Americans are worried about the economy and it shows. As you grow, you will meet many people who have very different political opinions. Some you might agree with and some you might not. Even within our own immediate family, we have a house divided. The lesson I hope you take home from this election (and politics in general) is tolerance. This country was founded on the idea that each person has right to speak their mind and voice their opinion. Tonight, your Daddy and I will watch to see who the American people have chosen to lead us over the next four years. There are many predictions, but only tonight will tell what the American people have decided. Here's a couple of snapshots from the polls today:

I love you,

Mom

Church

Dear Owen,
This morning you attended your first church service. Your Daddy and I hope it's the first of many to come. You slept pretty well through most of the service and seemed to enjoy the music part of the program. All of the ladies at church are already crazy about you and everyone was glad to see us back at church. It was great to feel all the love from our church family. You looked like such a big boy in your car seat this morning and I almost shed a tear thinking about how much you have already changed. During today's service, we remember loved ones lost. It was hard to me to focus on those departed since your life is so brand new. You are full of so much hope and promise. I found myself praying for you (as I often did before and during pregnancy) this morning. Please know that you will continue to be in my prayers everyday of your life.
I love you son,
Mom

Happy Halloween

Dear Owen,

Happy Halloween! Today was your first holiday. Ever. You looked so cute in your little pumpkin hat even though it was way too big. This year we visited your Daddy at work and you didn't stay awake long enough to greet any trick-or-treaters. Here a peep at you in your first costume:

I love you, Mom

Happy Anniversary

Dear Owen,
Two years ago your Mommy and Daddy were doing this:

Now look at us:

I am so proud of the beautiful family that your Daddy and I have created. My life is so different than it was two years ago and I wouldn't have it any other way. I knew that marrying your Daddy would change me. What I didn't know was how it would change my heart. Our marriage has made me stronger, love more, and feel deeper. Each day, I thank the Lord that he is standing, sleeping, or sitting beside me. As I watch him become a father to you, it makes me so proud to call him my husband. When you are all grown up, I hope that you will find someone who makes your life complete. Just as I have with your Daddy.
I love you son,
Mom

Past Two Weeks

Dear Owen,
Today you are two weeks old. You celebrated by staying awake from 8:30 AM to 11 AM this morning. I guess you think since you are two weeks old can do anything you want now! (Including trying to pick your head up and look around) The past two weeks have flown by and I think it's only an indication of how quickly you are going to grow up. I am constantly amazed at how rapidly you are changing and how our family dynamic is changing daily. Each day I have more confidence as your mother and it is slowly getting easier to get into our routine. I am sorry the first couple weeks recap will be limited. I think about blogging at all hours, but don't have the energy to translate those thoughts to letters. I know that I will get back to blogging more frequently as time permits. Here is what I remember about the past two weeks. After you were born, we stayed in the hospital until Monday afternoon. During that time, we started to get to know each other and were interrupted. A lot. Mostly by doctors and nurses doing their jobs. It seemed like each time your Daddy and I got to hold you someone else needed you. You had a circumcision, pediatric visits, I had checkups with nurses or doctors, nursery time, or grandparents holding you. Your Daddy and kept you with us every night except for the last when we finally broke down and sent you to the nursery. It's true what they say about the lack of sleep. It will get to you. Plus I was still feeling pretty sore from the operation and having to sleep in the hospital bed. It was really uncomfortable and I was anxious to get home. In fact, I was pretty anxious about everything. It's funny how over the moon you can be about having a child and at the same time have intense "overwhelming" feelings. Nobody really ever filled me on that part. Thank goodness for your Daddy and Grandma. Every time I had a moment, they were right there to support me. I literally don't know how I could have survived the first weeks without them. We got home on Monday and made it through our first night. We went to the pediatrician on Tuesday morning and your weight was down to 5lbs 14oz. Unfortunately, my milk wasn't coming in and we had to start supplementing with formula. At this point, both of us were getting pretty frustrated with breastfeeding. My dear friend, Emily, gave us the gift of seeing a lactation consultant named Linda. We meet with her on Thursday and she gave me tons of helpful advice which included starting me on a herbal supplement. I continued to pump up to 10 times a day in hopes of stimulating my milk production. I promised myself that I wouldn't give up on the idea of breastfeeding for at least two weeks. By Wednesday of this week, I still wasn't making any milk and had to face reality. It was a extremely difficult decision to stop pumping and switch to straight formula. But feedings were getting to a point where both of us were extremely anxious and it was taking so long. By the time I finished, we had to start right back over again and it wasn't healthy for either of us. Of course, we were still giving you formula so you have gained weight and were not going hungry. Here a shot of a happier moment:

On Saturday you had your first bath:

It was a sponge bath. You weren't too happy with the process but hopefully you will get used to it and learn to love it. On Sunday, we went on our first stroller ride. It took 30 minutes of prep time to walk 6 houses. But it was well worth the effort to get outside into the fresh air and sunshine. Your Grandma Lumsden left for home on Tuesday. It was a very sad day. We were all upset and miss her terribly. Hopefully she can come back soon. Really soon. Like tomorrow would be nice.

Your Daddy has stayed home with me the rest of this week. He goes back to work on Monday and we will be on our own for real. The good news is that I am able to drive and we have been on a couple outings, so I think I might be able to handle things. I am sure that it will get easier day by day. I hear you stirring in the next room, so it's off to make a bottle for me!
Love,
Mommy

Birth Story

Dear Owen,

It feels strange to start your letters Dear Owen, instead of Dear Munchkin. We have spent so long wondering whether or not you were a boy or girl, what you were going to look like, and how your personality would develop. Now you are here with us and it is truly amazing. I promised that I would write a letter devoted to your birth story. It might be a little long winded and most everyone we know has already heard it, but I want to preserve it for you. Every year on my birthday, your Grandma relives the story of my birth and I want to pass on the same tradition to you. Here goes:

We started off Thursday morning with an early call from the hospital. They told us to come on over to get started. All the grandparents had arrived or were scheduled to be here that day. We checked in about 7:30 AM and didn't get a room until close to 9 AM. By then, we were all anxious and nervous. I had two labor and delivery nurses that day, Lisa and Sara. They were both as nice as could be and made the process a lot less scary. They started me on the pitocin drip and an IV antibiotic. I didn't do so well with the IV process, but we can skip that part of the story. At this point, I was already having some mild contractions and the medicine didn't really ramp it up. After lunch, Doctor Davis stopped by and decided to start me on the higher dosage of medicine to help things progress. He also checked to see if he could break my water, but your head wasn't down far enough for him to feel comfortable doing that. We would learn the next day that a fibroid tumor was actually blocking the birth canal and this was the reason your head never came down far enough to eventually be born. About 3 PM that afternoon Dr. Fogelman (the on-call doctor) stopped in to check on us. She checked again to see if my water could be broken and then suggested that she put in a Foley balloon to open up the cervix. Basically, it's a balloon is inserted and then inflated with water to help dilate the cervix to about 3 cm. Once inserted, you leave it in until it falls out or is removed. I had that procedure done and it was a little scary. I sort of lost it for a moment and when I came to, I had oxygen and all sorts of nurses hovering around. After a few minutes, I was back to normal and we continued to wait. Around 8 PM, Dr. Fogelman came back to check on us. At this point, the medicine really wasn't changing much. In fact, your system can become saturated with it and become overloaded. Her suggestion was to take me off the drip for the night allowing me to eat something, walk around, and try to sleep. In the meantime, she would put another medicine inside me called Cervadil which gets absorbed into the blood stream. It is supposed to encourage dilation as well. I was able to eat half a sandwich, walk around the halls a few laps, the nurse inserted the medicine, and then I was given a sleeping pill. Everyone went home except your Daddy. He slept beside me the entire time. I think I slept for a couple hours. Close to 1 AM, I woke up having contractions which were getting stronger. I knew something wasn't right about 3 AM when the nurses were coming in every ten minutes or so to have me change sides or positions. Your heart rate was dropping every time I had a contraction. The nurse finally was concerned enough to call Dr. Fogelman into my room at 5:30 AM. We woke up your Dad and I was examined again. The contractions were coming pretty regularly now but were still a few minutes apart. Dr. Fogelman told us that we have a couple different options at this point. I could go back on the drip to see what happened, we could go ahead with a C-section, or we could stop the process all together which would essentially send us home to wait. She gave your Dad and I a few moments to talk things out. At which point, we called all the Grandparents and told them to get to the hospital ASAP. When Dr. Fogelman came back into the room to finish discussing our options, my water broke. Just right there while I was laying in the bed. It was a totally bizarre thing and I was like "Oh, something just happened!" Right away, Dr. Fogelman said that we would know in about 15 minutes if we were having a C-Section. Your heart rate kept dipping down with each contraction, so we were on our way to the OR. It happened in a matter of minutes, there were so many doctors and nurses flying around. I hardly had time to process it. But once they decided you had to come out, there was no messing around. All the grandparents arrived in time and I was able to kiss them before the surgery. Your Daddy got all suited up for the operation. They took me in the operating room and I was scared. Not really for me, but just worried about you. Everyone took excellent care of us. All the doctors and nurses were especially nice and supportive. Doctor Davis was also there to help deliver you. I went into the operating room at 7:30 AM and you were born at 7:48 AM. You weighed 6 lbs 13 oz and were 20 inches long. Doctor Davis told me that you didn't have a lot of hair before we even knew if you were a boy or a girl. Doctor Davis pulled you out and yelled "It's a boy" and he held you up for us to look at. Then you and your Daddy were whisked away. Of course, I started crying and all the nurses were so nice to me. Once you were cleaned up, you and your Daddy came back into see me. It was then that they told us that the cord was wrapped around your neck 3 times and that I had a fibroid tumor blocking the birth canal. It was a completely overwhelming emotional experience. All of the anticipation, anxiety, and excitement coming together. After I was put back together, I went down to recovery. You were able to meet all your family who were waiting at the hospital. Your Daddy brought you into recovery for a while where I finally held you. My sweet boy. Our Son. You were finally here. How beautiful you looked and how instantly I feel in love. We spent the next four days in the hospital together where I started to recover and we started our relationship. Those days and the past two weeks will be chronicled in a future letter. Right now, I hear your stirring which probably means that you need to be changed and feed. I know that now since I am your Mom and all. See, I am getting the hang of things already, right?

I love you son,

Mommy

1 Week Old

Happy

Unhappy

Love, Mom

Home Sweet Home

Dear Owen,
We have a son! Your Daddy and I could not be more proud. I am sorry to say that this letter will be brief, as I just have a moment to write you in between feedings and everything Owen going on in our house. But I promise to update you with your birth story when your Daddy and I get into a little more of a routine and I can spare a few minutes to get in all the details. Your arrival into this world was quite an event on Friday morning and you are surrounded by so many people who love you. I never imagined that I could have such intense feelings of love for another person. You are our world and we welcome you to it.
I love you very much son,
Mommy

Owen James Beale

Owen James Beale arrived this morning at 7:48AM, weighing 6 lbs. 13 oz., 20 inches long. Owen is healthy. He and Mommy are doing wonderfully. All of his tests have been passed with flying colors. Lots of pictures are posted at http://www.rosswilkin.com/ and there will be more to come. They are also on our own photo site http://jasonbeale.phanfare.com/.
Love,
Daddy

Another Update

Well, nothing has really changed so far. It looks like we'll probably be waiting until tomorrow to meet you! In the meantime, go to http://www.rosswilkin.com for some photos from the day.
Love, Daddy

Quick Update

Hey Munchkin,
We're here at Women's Hospital. They started the Pitocin drip at 9:30 this morning and hopefully the contractions will start soon. The nurses are very nice and everyone is anxiously awaiting your arrival. See you soon.
Daddy

Green Light

Dear Baby-
I have been trying to write this letter all day. In case you can't tell by the title of the letter, your lungs are mature and we received the green light from Doctor Davis to go ahead with the induction on Thursday morning! I called Maternal Fetal Care @ 8 AM when they opened to see if they had any news for us. The receptionist told me that something had come across the fax late yesterday, but the Doctor wouldn't be in until around 9 AM to read it. I left my number and thought about going back to sleep. About 2 minutes later, Doctor Davis called me. He told me that the lungs are mature and we can ahead with the induction. I said, "How weird, I just called and Doctor Conners wasn't in." "Oh, I know I am at the hospital and decided to break into Doctor Conners office to get the results myself." How resourceful is he! Anyway, he asked me if preferred tomorrow or Thursday to come into the hospital. Of course, I chose Thursday to give my family any extra time to get here. After a fury of phone calls and a shortage of hotel rooms (thank to A&T Homecoming), everyone has been notified and travel arrangements made. By the time I processed everything and ate some lunch, it was time to go to work. Then our internet/email was down at work, so this is first chance I have had to update. It looks like we will finally meet you sometime on Thursday or Friday. It feels very surreal and almost like I am having an out of body experience. I am going to go into work tomorrow for a few hours and then spend the rest of the day getting any last minute details worked out for Thursday.
See you soon!
Love,
Mom