If you have a baby AND hold down a job or have other kids, you're my hero. If you have a baby AND hold down a job AND have other kids, there are just no words to describe my amazement.
I have one baby and my only job (right now) is to be a full-time-mom. And I can't believe how fast the day goes and how little I get done. Seriously. Sometimes I look at the clock and it's 7:45 AM and then 5 minutes later I'll look again and it's 4:30 PM. And I can't name a single thing that I have accomplished in that time. But there are women, millions of women out there, who have jobs and multiple kids and still find time to check email, have a hobby, and exercise on a daily basis.
What am I doing wrong?
In an attempt to answer that question, I am outlying a typical day in my life with my 4 week old baby Owen. Please note that the following does NOT take into account if we have to leave the house for any reason (doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc.) Or if Owen's having one his hungry or cranky days that require even more of my attention than usual. That's a whole other level of craziness.
So here we go:
7:00 AM- Owen wakes up, change diaper, feed
7:30 AM- Playtime
8:45 AM- Diaper change, feed
9:00 AM- I *try* to get Owen down for a down for a nap, doesn't always happen. If he does nap, I try to shower, I do laundry, empty dishwasher, wash bottles, try to get some breakfast/caffeine.
10:30 AM- Change diaper, feed, playtime
11:30 AM- Laundry, change diaper
12:00 PM- Playtime, try to grab some lunch if Owen isn't being too demanding
1:00 PM- Change diaper, feed
1:30 PM- Owen down for nap, if successful check email, blog, laundry.
3:30 PM- Change diaper, feed, playtime
4:00 PM- Nap Time
6:00 PM- Diaper Change, Feed, Mommy plays with Owen while Daddy makes dinner. He usually nods off shortly after.
6:30 PM- Parents eat dinner and watch some TV.
8:00 PM- Possible Bath time
9:00 PM- Diaper change, feed, Owen down for night. Bedtime for parents.
12:00 AM- Diaper change, feed, Owen back to bed.
3:00 AM- Diaper change, feed, Owen back to bed.
7:00 AM- We start all over again!
So what am I doing wrong? Where does the time go? Is it me? Am I missing something? I really want YOUR opinion. Please comment if you have any ideas. I feel like I am insanely busy all day. But busy doing what? I know it seems like I do a lot of feeding and I do. But I let Owen eat on demand. I don't know how else to do it. I don't want him to be hungry. I do want him to feel like he can eat anytime he feels the need. Is that wrong? Is anyone else experiencing this black hole of time suckage? I feel like I have to formally schedule cutting my fingernails and drinking a glass of water. And going to the bathroom.
Love,
Mom
6 comments:
Oh, Jenny. Honey. I know it's NOT your nature to do this but just stop and breathe. (and kudos to you for even being aware of what is going on and when!)
You are what? 4 weeks postpartum now? I think you need to not worry about "getting things done" or being on a schedule. yet. Just enjoy that baby. Let him sleep on your chest while you watch TV or read a book. Don't shower all day...wait until Jason gets home to shower. Use this time as your 'excuse' to do nothing. Because when you DO have work, exercise, grocery store, church and other kids, you are going to *ache* to be able to get this time back.
Enjoy that boy. Smell his head. Study his feet, his ears, his eyes and nose. Put his hand next to yours and see how small it is. Give him a massage.
Don't worry about all that other stuff. It can wait. I promise.
Congrats on your baby boy =) I got here by way of other blogs and have been following for awhile. As a mom of two girls, who works full time and goes to grad school I can tell you that what you are doing RIGHT NOW is one of the hardest things EVER. My 6 weeks home with each of my newborns went by in a blur. There were days the baby and I didn't even leave the little cocoon of my bedroom. You're exhausted, you're taking care of a new baby and the fact that you can get a shower is an accomplishment. Trust me. You're doing FINE. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Give yourself a few weeks to get into a routine and you'll see that things will start calming down a bit. The fog will lift and things will start getting done again! Nothing is that important right now except enjoying your baby boy. Lots of luck =)
Lol!!! yes your day sounds about right for having a 4 week old baby. I promise it gets better, but yes I have found that my children are still quite time consuming and they are 4 & 5 now. I don't think that ever changes even when they are independent and can do things for themselves. A bit of multi-tasking and the understanding that sometimes everything that needs to be done won't always get done. He will grow up so fast, and before you can blink Owen will be heading off to school. So take advantage of your time with Owen and don't worry about all those chores:)
You aren't doing anything wrong. Newborns are time consuming. There may be some who differ in their opinion but I believe infants should be fed on demand. I remember watching my older sister with her babies (her kids are in their forties now) whose doctor told her she should feed on a schedule. I saw her trying every which way to calm their screaming as she "held them off" til it was feeding time. I vowed not to do that and I didn't. Look at it this way, it's one of the few times in your life that everyone gives you permission to get nothing done. Give yourself that permission and relax and enjoy this time with little owen. Every time you feed him should be a time that you can just sit down, relax and spend some nice bonding time with him. Do you have a sling in which you can carry him around? Sometimes when a baby is having a fussy day just being close to mom is calming. If he's in a sling you can probably get a few things done if you really feel the need to. I think your instincts are good and you are doing a great job. Take care.
I agree with everything everyone has already told you. Feeding on demand is the only way I know to do it too. :) It works, so don't worry about that. He's going to need to eat less often soon enough, so that will calm down and give you more time in your day. Babies love to be close to you, so if you feel like you need to do something around the house, put him in a wrap or sling. Talk to him, sing to him, rub his back or bottom through the sling and get your stuff done. You can also get outside and walk or head to Target like this.
Put Owen in a bouncy seat or lay him on a blanket on the floor in the bathroom while you shower. He's not going anywhere and I bet he'll love the warmth and steam. Or fall asleep to the white noise of the fan and shower. :)
The best advice I can give you, though, is not to put too much pressure on yourself. This time goes by so fast. Nothing matters as much as the quiet moments you spend with Owen. Admiring his tiny perfect toes, smelling his hair, listening to the sound of his breathing, and napping with a baby on your chest. Enjoy it.
Jenny- I'm sure you know that I'm a die-hard scheduler.
But, really, Emily and others are right on. Even I don't worry about a schedule or really doing anything at all for the first six-twelve weeks.
Just enjoy him- nap together, lay on the floor with him during tummy time, go for a walk, take another nap, etc.
Don't worry about the house, etc. Just do the bare minimum you need to get by and let the rest all go. You've got the rest of your life to do laundry, cleaning, errands and all that stuff. You've only got newborn Owen for a little bit of time.
Really, it's okay to do NOTHING but just *BE* with the baby.
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